00:00 Episode Preview: Unleashing Your Inner Sun

00:32 Opening

01:08 Introduction

02:07 Interview Begins with Yumi Sakugawa

07:51 Transformative Thirties: Healing and Growth

14:12 Redefining Happiness and Authenticity

17:56 Art’s Feedback Loop

23:28 Embracing Change and Authenticity

26:51 Healing Through Self-Reflection and Community

29:38 AD – Join our Tarot for Alchemy Course https://learntarot.mysticmondays.com/

34:01 Somatic Compass: Discovering Personal Truth

40:43 Cultivating Bravery and Self-Acceptance

46:40 Unexpected Encounter Captured in Photo

52:06 Serendipitous Oracle Deck Creation

59:36 Embracing the Art of Receiving

01:01:08 Capacity to Give and Receive

01:04:27 End of Episode – Make Sure to Leave a Podcast Review!

01:05:21 End Card

Welcome to the GRACED Podcast! A space for everyday magic for your everyday life. We do this through rituals, aligning yourself to your soul’s purpose, and creating Alchemy to heal our mind, body, and spirits so that you can bring in more love and joy, manifest your desires, and believe in your dreams.

Listen and watch over at graceduong.com/podcast and on YouTube, Apple Podcast, Spotify, Instagram, TikTok and all the places you can find me on social media.

Now let’s dive into today’s episode.

💖 Introduction

Grace: Welcome to the GRACED Podcast, a space where we talk about everyday magic for your everyday life. Today’s guest is Yumi Sakugawa, a brilliant comic book artist, illustrator, and creator of the Cosmic Comfort Oracle. We’re basking in the light of the Sun, a card of joy, self expression, and creative radiance. Yumi shares her artistic journey, the power of showing up in your authenticity, and how art can be a tool for healing, celebration, and self love. And we are doing a giveaway of Yumi’s deck Cosmic Comfort over on the socials, Instagram, Now let’s dive into this episode.

✨ Interview Begins with Yumi Sakugawa

Grace: Hi, Yumi. Welcome to the GRACED Podcast. Yumi: Hi, Grace. Thank you for having me. Grace: Yeah. Absolutely. So today, we’re here to talk about themes of the Sun tarot card. I also have your deck, Cosmic Comfort here, which we’re gonna dive into. And I just wanna ask about the Sun and how it represents life force, radiance, vitality, and clarity. So how do you personally connect with this energy in your creative process, especially when it comes to creating your deck, the Cosmic Comfort deck? Yumi: Yeah. It’s funny you bring up the sound because when I do my guided meditations, usually to open a workshop or a webinar or an event I’m doing. I always incorporate the Sun imagery in my meditation where the Sun is hovering over your head and it’s bringing vitality and strength into your body. And then it cracks open into a giant golden egg, and the golden yolk of a Sun streams down your body and just replenishes and rejuvenates everything that it touches. And I love the Sun because, I mean, obviously, it’s the source of life on Earth. And also, I think the Sun imagery, when I pull it in traditional tarot deck, I associate it with not just vitality and aliveness, but I think also a reminder that we ourselves can embody the Sun energy, allowing our inner light to shine through and reminding ourselves that we do have this very powerful light in us that can get obscured by our self shrinking narratives or our old patterns. But ultimately, all of us, we have our own inner sons that can be unleashed at any moment. Grace: Yeah. And you mentioned self shrinking narratives and what does that mean? Yumi: I mean, the easiest answer is trauma. But to be more specific, I think we all as humans, whether it’s through social programming and or narratives we inherit through our caretakers, our peers, especially when we’re very young in our most formative ages. And this can be cultural, social, familial, ancestral. We’re going to inherit stories that tell us in one way or another that we are not good enough, which is obviously not true. And I also heard someone say that shame is never inherent. It’s something that you inherited from somebody else. And so I think about that a lot, how when we have self shrinking narratives, they don’t come naturally from within us. Somebody had to teach us that. Yumi: And so then when we become adults with more agency, it’s up to us to recognize those patterns and consciously unlearn them. Grace: Yeah. That’s really powerful. And in the traditional rider Waite tarot card, there’s a child or a baby sitting on top of this white horse, and that kind of reminds me of what you were saying about we come into this earth as like pure essence, like as a child, and we have this innocence that’s malleable. It’s not necessarily preserved because we’re learning, we’re absorbing, and we are also wanting to survive in our current circumstance, whether that could be through adaptive behaviors like people pleasing or maybe that’s the overachiever or whatever it was to garner more love. I love what you said earlier about the Sun being the life force because I do feel like when you’re out and about in the world, like the people that tend to be the magnet or that you’re just like automatically drawn to are just emanating their life force. They’re just radiating their pure selves, whatever was untainted or perhaps unlearned through the behaviors that they might have picked up on throughout their lives. So I do feel like the process of the Sun also means encountering your shadows. And the card right before the Sun is the moon card where we have to dive into our subconscious and it’s very deep and there might be conditioning and patterns that we’re not even aware of.

✨ Transformative Thirties: Healing and Growth

Grace: So have you had any moments where you had to break through your own darkness to then allow the Sun to shine brightly without any shame or conditioning or anything like that? Yumi: Oh, all the time. I’m like, when am I not doing that? But, yeah, to ground it in more specific examples, I would say my early thirties, early to mid thirties was a lot of processing past traumas and really going deep into old childhood wounds, old familial patterns, really deeply ingrained stories about myself that felt so integral to my identity. I felt like there was a lot of grief in confronting these old narratives that were so a part of my identity and really being allowing myself to step back a little bit and to see them for what they were, stories that I inherited from childhood as opposed to something that was me, essentially. And I learned a lot, and I really went through this generally generative and also hard period in my thirties of doing different healing modalities, ending a ten year relationship. And also and also not coincidentally, that was also a period of time when I feel like for the first time I was really getting into my witchiness and getting more into the occult and also attracting really powerful feminine friendships that were much more authentic to me for the first time. And also I was starting to become more of a public figure through my art and my published books and my workshops. And so I think there was a lot of confrontation that had to happen internally as far as confronting my imposter syndrome, an innate belief that somehow I was not good enough or I had to prove my self worth through accomplishments. And also this period of intense limerence towards a very idolized person that I had to let go of, I felt like that was me having to let go of this very deep need to have external validation from somebody else. And there was a lot of grief in realizing that I can no longer outsource my self worth and life purpose and validation and all of that to other people. And so there was there was a lot that happened in my thirties. And I feel like because I did all this intense shadow work, that is why I’m able to then experience so much beauty and joy and connection in my life. Yumi: And it makes sense that the moon and the Sun are right next to each other. I actually forgot that that was the sequential order of things, but it makes so much sense. You have to go through the darkness first in order to truly, truly experience the radiance and life affirming joy of life. And that also reminds me of how after the tower card, it’s the star card, which is after all the unnecessary structures are demolished, that’s when you could see the stars at night. Grace: Yeah. That actually fits in so well with numerology wise, what’s going on this year because it’s a numerology nine year, which is the Hermit tarot card year, but that also links up to the Moon card. So dealing with anything that is within the subconscious to confront because next year is the number one numerology card, but also year. And so that would be the magician, but also the Sun. So lots of new beginnings. And I feel like when you come to that point of letting that light break through the darkness, because there is a breaking through point. And I resonated with a lot of what you had mentioned about grief and finding the space for that because it’s not like it just goes away after a night. It’s probably like a built up trauma to then confront and not just confront, but also acknowledge. Grace: And I think there’s an acceptance process to whatever has happened and not letting that be your entire story. So I feel like the Sun card is also giving yourself permission to write your new beginning, write your new script, and write your new main character energy for who you wanna be in the next chapter of your life. So it doesn’t have to be, like, an ending or we’re allowed to give ourselves new beginnings time and time again. Grace: Absolutely. Grace: Yeah. So I know the word authenticity has been thrown around a lot. But for you, that actually mean, like, how do you define authenticity? Yumi: Ironically, it’s thrown around a lot so much in terms of marketing. Like, oh, how can you be authentic while you’re trying to sell a product? Present an image of yourself as authentic. I think for me, it’s it’s not about presenting this polished version of yourself. I I really believe that ultimately people connect with one another through shared humanity, which is obviously then gonna include your messy parts, your contradictory parts, your not so flattering aspects of yourself, and also speaking truths that may make people uncomfortable. And so I think anytime you are self censoring yourself to make yourself more palatable to other people, then I think then that’s the opposite of authenticity. And it’s then an opportunity to pause and be like, okay, why am I modifying myself to make myself more likable to others? One of my favorite astrologers, Mystic Medusa, she’s an astrologer based in Australia, and I’ve been following her for years. She once described self shrinking behavior as self bonsying yourself, trimming yourself down like you’re a little bonsai tree. And I think about that term a lot, how many of us, especially femmes, women, BIPOC people, queer people, marginalized people in general, we have a tendency to bonsai ourselves, to fit into mainstream society, to assimilate, but at what cost. Yumi: And I think recovering our authenticity, not the fake social media authenticity that comes with marketing, but true authenticity, I think it’s not only recognizing your shadows and your wounds and your flaws, but also on the flip side of the coin, recognizing your magic, your strength, your brilliance, your uniqueness that makes you so powerful and incredible. Yeah.

✨ Redefining Happiness and Authenticity

Grace: I actually really love what you said earlier about outsourcing your happiness because I do feel like so much of what we see, whether it is social media or ads or whatever. It’s always about something you don’t have that will fill you up somehow, whether it’s like a skin care product or whatever it is. And I think a lot of the journey is untangling the outside factors, whether that is like your achievements or whatnot. I think I’m in that process of really like acknowledging my worth outside of everything that I can do because so much of what my acknowledgment came from was like how smart I was when I was a kid or how maybe artistic I was, not necessarily acknowledged by family, but like from outside, maybe like school or something. And I think a lot of the Sun when I think about authenticity, it’s about walking into any room and still being able to be yourself no matter what. And I do feel like as a survival mechanism, we do tend to shift ourselves to whoever the room is, you know, and I think that makes sense whether it’s, like, maybe you’re going to a college lecture or maybe you’re going to meet up with friends. Like, you do have different sides to yourself that you might share with different people, but I more so think it’s about, like, knowing who you are, what your values are, and staying through to what that is. And I think that also comes to, like, integrity, not necessarily shifting to the next trend. Grace: Let’s say it’s, like, social media and, like, you’re hopping on the next trend or whatever. It’s just so interesting because I feel like there are, like, two almost, like, conflicting thoughts that are coming up where it’s like, yes, stay true to yourself. And then the other side of it is, like, if you’re thinking about it in, like, a social media context, it’s like your purpose, or depending on what your purpose is, is, like, it’s about growth. So you are hopping on the next trend and whatnot, but I suppose the analogy is you’re still staying true to your message no matter the vehicle. Because I know that your social media has grown a ton, and so for you, what was that journey like? Because it sounded like you kind of went through a process of feeling comfortable showing up even, and then you did, and then it grew. So was there any thoughts of imposter syndrome or what was stopping you before, and then what was the breakthrough for you to then start showing up? Yumi: Yeah. I feel like I can’t necessarily pinpoint it to a specific moment. I think it was likely a gradual series of many moments that gave me the confidence to post a lot and to be less apologetic or insecure about putting my art out there. I think exposure therapy helps where if you’re just constantly posting new work. And in my case, I’ve been posting art online since high school, I wanna say, if not even before that. Websites, coding my own HTML, putting my artwork up online. And then in college, I was posting artwork and writings on Life Journal and then progressively going through the different platforms. So Life Journal to Blogger, to Tumblr, to Instagram and Twitter.

✨ Art’s Feedback Loop

Yumi: And I think also I do value the feedback loop of receiving feedback from people, especially people who felt moved or touched by whatever words or drawings that you shared online. And I feel like also art, it doesn’t happen in a vacuum. Ultimately, especially if you are a public artist, it is going to be shared. It is going to be seen and read and absorbed by other people. And so I feel like when there is this circular dialogue of you creating the artwork and then people responding genuinely to the work that you shared, I feel like for me that definitely gave me the motivation then to keep going and to keep developing my craft. And I think also as I started getting more attention or getting things posted in bigger media websites, then I feel like that just progressively gave me the confidence to keep going. And then, of course, that also has its shadow side where you then start chasing the validation as the cookie crumbs to keep going. And so also there is, of course, at some point that internal processing that needs to happen of, wait, why am I doing all of this? Is this to fill some empty hole in my soul or what are the innate motivations I have for creating the work? And so I feel like it’s an ongoing process that never ends.

✨ Embracing Change and Authenticity

Grace: Yeah. A lot of what you said reminded me of the Sun in its natural state in terms of giving life to plants, animals, like literally humans, because we also need sunlight for vitamin D. And if you’re like inside for too long, then you start to get sad and it affects your mood. And so we also need the Sun to go outside, and the Sun also has the ability to burn. So whether it’s through words or opinions or courageous acts that can harner negative reactions from people. I feel like the Sun is both life giving and also potentially dangerous just because you can get Sunburned, right, if you’re out in the Sun for too long. Yumi: Yeah. It’s true. And also, Ikaris fell to his death because of the Sun. Grace: Yeah. I often think about that because in Western astrology, I’m a fire sign and so are you. Right? Yeah. Yes. And I think about, like, sometimes how you can be so excited about something, but then you can also, like, burn out, like, physically burn out, which I think has been one of my constant struggles, probably like an artist and creative and getting really excited about your work and going all in on something and then getting really, like, depleted. That can go into social media as well, whether it’s, like, you could be on it all the time and there’s an addictive quality to it, and then you might get burnt out from it, then you might take a break, then you might come back. And so I think that really speaks to, like, the life cycles of what the Sun is able to witness. Like, the Sun has many lifetimes of humanity and beings beyond humanity. Grace: And also like every phase stage of our life, like every solar return, we’re coming back home to ourselves in some way because we’re another year wiser, so to speak. And it kind of reminds me of because you had just turned 40, you mentioned, and you’re comparing that to your thirties. It sounded like you are enjoying your forties because of everything that you confronted and went through in your thirties. Is that correct to say? Yumi: Oh, yeah. Absolutely. And I feel like I’ve done so much processing and healing. Something I’ve told my friends recently as we enter this new year was that just like I’m sick of therapeutic self analysis now. I feel like I’ve done so much processing around childhood trauma and childhood wounds and self limiting patterns. I feel like I reached a point where I’m like, okay, I’m good. Not that the healing journey is has ended because obviously it’s never going to end, but I feel like it’s not such a central focus in my life as it was in my thirties. And so I feel like that’s another beautiful sign of growth of no longer having to feel like you’re constantly on your healing journey. Yumi: You can just be on a journey and enjoy life as opposed to wanting to constantly go inward and fix things. And I think that’s also another aspect of the Sun card where I think the moon card is very internal, very, very much about diving deep into the subconscious, our psyches. And then the beauty of the sound card, the inverse of that is, okay, it’s time to go outside. It’s time to touch grass literally, figuratively. It’s time to go out into the outdoors and be amongst other people, plants, animals, nature, and not be so inward looking all the time. Grace: Yeah. I feel like that can speak to, let’s say, like, in your thirties, maybe you wouldn’t have been comfortable speaking out about Palestine versus now. I think that takes a certain amount of bravery and courage to be able to really speak up for your values, whatever that may be. I feel like over the years when I’ve stood up for something, I’ve always gotten hate mail in whatever form. And when you feel like you’re being true to yourself and when we talk about that authenticity, I don’t think enough people talk about you’re going to have to face opposition too. And I think that is really a test from spirit, like do you really believe in what you’re saying? Like do you really have these values? Like, are you willing to stand by them? And I think a lot of the times people shift, and it’s okay to change. And I also wanna like put that out there because obviously every time period in our lives, whether it is you have to go into hermit mode and you have to heal, or you’re ready to be out in the world again and share your art and your ideas and your values, I think there’s a time period for it all and to give ourselves the flexibility to change and to allow ourselves to write that new story. And it’s so much so about just like, I think just like viewing your life as a timeline of who you are. Grace: But also I think with the Sun, I I also think about, like, collective energy and how we’re all influenced by this big radiant Sun in the sky no matter where you are in the world, and so there’s this, like, collective consciousness that’s coming up of how we’re all connected even if we disagree, and I think that is something I wish was more in the world that even if we disagree on something, that doesn’t mean you’re wrong or that I have to, like, spew out anger or hate at you because I don’t agree with you. And because I feel like something that I saw in your artwork, I think it was a while ago, but it had something to do with excavating your truth. And I think so much of truth has just been thrown at us, whether it’s like the news or our parents or whatever. And so what is that process like of excavating your truth for anyone who might struggle with that? Yumi: That’s such a juicy question because I feel like I can’t point to one single process that is going to do that for you. I really feel like it’s doing many different things at once. Right? I feel like meditation is one modality that that comes to mind where you are quieting your thoughts and you are listening to yourself. And for a brief container, whether it’s five, ten minutes, twenty minutes, thirty minutes, you are tuning out. Or not so much tuning out, but you’re turning down the volume of other external sources such as the news, the radio, social media to sit in silence. And so there’s that. I think also I do the morning pages pretty regularly, which is the process that artist Julia Cameron speaks about a lot in her workbook, The Artist’s Way, which is three pages of stream of conscious writing every morning. I feel like that is a very effective way of just seeing what’s going on internally in your psyche.

✨ Healing Through Self-Reflection and Community

Yumi: I think also doing things like therapy and other healing modalities. It’s about confronting your deeply ingrained patterns and being able to step back and then assess with your adult mind, do these stories I tell about myself, do they still make sense? Do they not make sense? And then also, even though there is, let’s say, the hermit card, that imagery of going inward, going solitary to reflect, I think we also must remember that ultimately, the hermit came from a community and then is going to return to a community. And so the truth, whatever it means to you, it’s all relational. It all is forged through relationships, whether it’s with family, your community members, your friend groups, your peers, the people you listen to through media. And so I feel like there’s also this fine tuning of your own personal truth that also comes through in relationships. So for example, I am very fortunate to be in community with a lot of really active activists and community organizers and also in general artists who care deeply about the world. And so I feel like my truth is also really informed by that where I’m around people whose values I really respect and resonate with mine. And so I also am learning constantly through people whose values I feel aligned with. Yumi: And also, I feel like when you are in relationship with loved ones who really care deeply about you, I feel like they are then able to reflect to you things that you don’t see or things that you may not catch about yourself, especially if you are going through a difficult time. Then loved ones and really close friends, they are then able to reflect to you, oh, these are the things that make you lovable. These are the things that are important to you. These are the things that make you so uniquely special because it’s so easy to forget. And so I feel like ultimately it’s about being in relationship with the world. That’s how you’re gonna find your truth. It’s not just constant self reflection and isolation and going into hermit mode. There also must be a part of the process too where you are out there in the world relating to people, plants, animals, nature, spirit. Yumi: And I think through all of that, your truth emerges. And I think there are also many truths that are gonna emerge throughout your life at different stages of your life.

✨ Somatic Compass: Discovering Personal Truth

Grace: Yeah. I like that you mentioned that relational doesn’t necessarily mean relating to another person. Like, you could go outside and relate to the sky or the grass or the trees, and I wouldn’t speak for everyone. But I think for me, like, feeling misunderstood as a creative type and wanting to shine in my own way and figuring out what that was, I think so much of that is figuring out who you are. So having to try many different types of things just to see what resonates with you because you won’t really know until you experience it. And I think sometimes fear can hold us back from trying new things because we might already be set in an identity that we resonate with. And I feel like throughout our lives, especially as I’ve gotten older, I feel like I’m much more less willing to try new things, and I’m more comfortable in the things that I know that I like versus I know, like, in my teens and twenties, I was so, like, all about trying new things and trying the new flavor and trying the new experience or whatever it was.

Grace: And I feel like I’m so much more like, no. That’s my bagel order, and I don’t know if I wanna stray from that because I know I like it. And I feel like there’s this, like, comfort that, like, we can get boxed into, especially because it’s, like, this safety thing. And I feel like that comes back to, like, when we were children and we were kids, we were just, okay, well, I suppose maybe this self shrinking behavior helped me better survive in this situation, or maybe this helped me become safer where I was. And so I think a lot of that also has to reframe our wiring to feel safe as an adult and giving ourselves permission to feel safe in an environment that may not have felt safe before. So for anyone that may be doing some, like, nervous system regulation or if you’ve done any of that yourself, like, what would you say to someone who is looking for that sense of safety? Because I feel like that sense of safety then gives you the permission to then be authentic and to feel safe in sharing that with other people.

Yumi: Oh, yeah. And I’m glad you brought up nervous system regulation because the other thing I wanted to add with excavating your own truth is that I am realizing too that at least speaking for myself, I feel like truth, your personal truth, it’s also somatically felt. And so I feel like really learning how to connect to your body, listen to your body, and to really honor your body’s cues, I feel like over time then speaking for myself, my body then becomes a very fine tuned and accurate compass that tells me, does this feel true to me? Does this feel aligned to me? Feeling that this is the real difference between somatically feeling that, oh, this is my truth. This is these are my values. This is what I believe in versus the somatic tightening of your body of feeling like, oh, this is not me. This is not for me or this is not aligned. I need to get out of this situation, whether it’s a relationship or a career opportunity or anything else, what have you. But to ask but to go back to your question of how one can feel safe in trying out new things, I think relatedly, it is going back to also the somatics.

Yumi: So I know for myself, breath work has helped immensely for really somatically, excavating old demons to really feel at home in the body. I feel like also in my thirties, I did a lot of somatic movement workshops and became really interested in that. I feel like it was really my first time in my adult life of really consciously forging a relationship with my body and really wanting to explore how does my body experience the world as opposed to just the mental framework or the creative framework. And also, I feel like when I was first getting into meditation in my early twenties, I feel like a lot of the conversations around meditation focused on the mental benefits of meditation. And at least in mainstream conversations, there wasn’t enough focus on the somatic aspects of meditation. And so, especially, I wanna say the somatic effects of meditation through a femme body, which I think is very different. Right? The feminine experience of having a body and all the ways it’s been shunned or objectified or disconnected. And so I feel like similar to the process of excavating your truth, there are just so many different things that can be happening in order to achieve safety.

Yumi: And I feel like one thing that comes to mind is just taking baby steps of experiencing new things. So you don’t immediately have to go into skydiving mode. You can do really simple things like, oh, I’m going to walk in a different neighborhood, or I’m going to check out a new cafe instead of going to the cafe that I always go to. If a friend invites you to an event, going to a venue or a place you’ve never gone to, then saying yes to that. And I feel like experiencing new things, it is a muscle that you build. I know it’s funny. I think it was kind of the opposite for me where I feel like in my teens and twenties, yes, I did experience new things, but I think also I was scared to in some ways. Like, I wasn’t proactive about experiencing new things.

Yumi: I think it happened because friends would invite me to things, not so much because I myself proposed experiencing new things. And so I feel like it wasn’t until my thirties really that I was much more consciously, proactively gung ho about saying yes to new things. And I think similar to showing up in authenticity online or having the comfort to share your artwork with the world, I feel like it’s just a muscle that gets built over time.

Grace: Yeah. Definitely. So you mentioned having tea with your demons. For anyone that wants to have tea with their demons, what does that mean?

Yumi: Yeah. I love the concept of having tea with your demons. I came across it as a Buddhist concept, but I feel like all cultures have some variation of that, of confronting your demons and that concept being mythologized somehow through stories or metaphor. And, basically, the idea is that we all have demons, and I think the immediate thought that may come to mind then is, oh, we need to conquer them or get rid of them or fight them. And what I love about the concept of tea with demons is that you don’t have to do those things. You don’t have to get rid of your demons in order to be a quote unquote good person. You can instead sit with as though you’re having tea with them, have a conversation with have a relationship with them, hear what they have to say. And I think, ultimately, rather than pushing away the things that you don’t like about yourself, If you instead do the opposite, which is to go towards them, actually really make an effort to understand them and even have compassion for them, then I think that’s how integration can happen.

Yumi: That’s how we can feel more whole about ourselves. I also love this poem by the Sufi poet Rumi. I don’t quite remember the title, but I think it was called the house guest or the guest or something like that. But it’s basically in the poem, Rumi says that if you ever have unruly house guests, and of course, the metaphor being emotions or negative feelings or demons, then even if they cause a ruckus in your home and upturn all your furniture, you can still treat them as esteemed guests and really honor their place in your home. And I feel like that’s just such a beautiful metaphor for how we can meet every moment of our lives, especially in times when we are experiencing difficult emotions. We can treat these difficult emotions and experiences as esteemed house guests that we can sit with and form a connection with.

✨ Cultivating Bravery and Self-Acceptance

Grace: Yeah. I love that. I feel like, you know, there’s something to acceptance of all the things. Maybe it’s shame, maybe it’s guilt, maybe it’s anger, things that might influence self shrinking behavior to really acknowledge all the really great things about you. It kinda goes back to, like I was saying earlier about when I was getting flack about things that I support or had supported in the past. For whatever reason, those comments, the negative emails, those ring louder than all the positive ones, And I feel like that’s probably the same with your internal dialogue, all things that are like, you should be doing this and you’re not doing this enough and blah, blah, blah. And so it’s kind of like building that muscle and that practice to reinforce all the positive voices that are like, yeah, go after that new thing or take that new class or go to that new cafe or just show up to the art opening without knowing anyone or allowing yourself to be brave in the face of change. And we are collectively going through massive change, so I think it requires bravery from all of us to, I suppose, adapt and also find ways where we can be significant, whether it’s in our contributions or even just acknowledging the significance that we bring in this timeline.

Grace: So I have a few more questions to wrap up, and I’d love to ask you about how the Sun is tied to success and abundance. So in your journey as an artist, how do you define success for yourself?

Yumi: I would say in relation to the Sun imagery, I think it’s about unabashedly letting your radiance shine that only you can bring to the table. And also to circle back to you mentioning how negative self talk can sometimes carry more weight than the positive self talk and also externally as well, how the one criticism can sometimes carry more weight than the hundreds of people validating your work. Something that has helped me is to have delusions of grandeur, and I feel like that’s especially important for Asian American women who are taught to be submissive and people pleasing and to not rock the boat and to not stand up. I feel like we can all benefit from delusions of Vander. So let’s say you’re getting you’re wanting to get this career opportunity. I think it helps to have self talk that’s like, well, they would be complete idiots to not hire me. Or or like in dating, like, oh, I’m, like, so hot. Like, you would have to be just out of your mind to not date me.

Yumi: And I I feel like that just feels so much better than self deprecating thoughts. I am just personally so over self deprecation. I’m just over that. I’m in my delusions of grandeur error. That’s the next chapter of my life.

Grace: Yes. Yes. Yes. To all of that. Isn’t it nice to, like, have someone rooting for you even if it’s yourself?

Yumi: Yeah. Absolutely.

Grace: Yeah. We all need, delusions of grandeur error, and the Sun is larger than life.

Yumi: Yes. Yes, she is. Well, Grace, do you have any delusions of grandeur thoughts that cross your mind that you would like to share with the world?

Grace: Well, I feel like right now, I’m unwrapping, tying my worth to my achievements. And I think I’ve built a lot of things over the years that all of them are quite complex. Like, the app is complex, and it’s still running. And I started a virtual assistant agency. So, you know, I’m not quite ready to share it with the world, but I will say that I think what I’m learning in my stage to go into my delusions of render stage is more so about letting it be silly and funny. So it’s kind of, like, funny how, like, some of the dialogue you were saying, like, you’d be such an idiot if you didn’t choose me or whatever. It’s kinda, like, silly. I think there’s that energy of like surrender where I don’t really care if it happens, but duh, of course it’s gonna happen, and I think that kind of has this energy of powerful intention.

Grace: So this is something that was kind of silly, and I went to this event where Deepak Chopra was speaking. He was talking about his new AI, and it was so crowded. I didn’t really expect to meet him, but my cousin had gifted me one of his books like, years ago. So I brought it with me, and I also brought my tarot deck to gift him if I actually got a chance to talk to him. So he let us down this very short visualization, and I just saw myself taking a picture with him, but I was very, like, whatever about it happening because there was just so many people there. I didn’t really expect anything to happen. So my friend that I went there with, we’re just like, okay. Let’s just leave.

Grace: So the event was over. We left, and the event itself was, like, encouraging people to stay for happy hour or something like that. But we’re like, no. We’re gonna leave. And so we go outside, and there he is waiting outside. And I was like, oh, this is my moment. So then I’m like, oh, I’m gonna I have this book. So I, like, nervously I’m like, hey.

Grace: I have your book. Can you please sign it? And then I’m, like, fumbling around for a pen that I couldn’t find for I swear, like and this other woman runs up to him, takes a selfie, has him sign her book also, and she happened to be, like, right next to us during the event. So that was also, like, really synchronistic. But I was just so I was like, oh my god. Like, because I, like, saw it in my mind. Right? I saw Misha with him, but I didn’t expect it to happen. So it was almost like that energy of surrender. That happened, which is, like, silly because it was almost like an instant manifestation.

✨ Unexpected Encounter Captured in Photo

Grace: So, anyway, I’m, like, fumbling from my phone because it’s, like, dark now, and the camera takes longer to take photos when it’s dark because I do have a photo of him, like, turning his head. Like, he didn’t wait because, like, he had been, like, person was like, your car is here, and I felt like he was getting annoyed. So I have a picture where like, a selfie of me, like, taking a picture, but his head is turned, and that just goes back to that energy because I was like, oh, this is so cool. It’s happening. I didn’t expect it to happen, but I think there was also a lingering energy of doubt where I was like, oh, like, I didn’t expect it to happen. Like, what do I do now? I’m like, where’s my plant? So it kinda like it was just interesting because I know, for example, like, when you mentioned this energy of, like, delusions of grandeur, it’s like knowing it’s gonna happen, and it’s like there’s no doubt or anything, like, kind of like tainting that intention or experience. I’m just sharing that because I was like, oh my god. It’s happening, like, right now, like, pretty much instantly.

Grace: And then there was that energy of doubt because I didn’t expect it to happen, but, also, I was doubting myself in that moment too. Interesting that, like, all of these different things came up versus this is, like, another, like, instant manifestation moment, but, like, I was at an airport, and I don’t think I was actually ordering anything, but I maybe was waiting around one of those juice bars or whatever. And she had made an extra smoothie, so she just gave it to me. I remember right before she gave it to me, I was like, I want a smoothie. And I think there was no energy of doubt. I just wanted the smoothie and gave it to me. And I think for, like, the longer term goals that I have wanted to manifest or maybe have just seemed outside of my grasp for, like, a long time, there’s that energy of doubt that I think is still there, perhaps, for me to look at and to, like, wonder why I’m doubting myself, or if it’s possible for another person, why can’t it be possible for me? And I think that is encompassing the Sun of just believing in yourself. Yeah.

Grace: So what’s next in your delusions of grandeur season?

Yumi: Yeah. I do wanna go blonde again. I feel like that is major Sun energy. This was back in 2019, and then I had to abandon the blonde era because the pandemic happened. And also, I needed to save money instead of having expensive touch ups all the time. But I I miss being blonde. I do have a secret project. I’m just gonna say that.

Yumi: And also, I I truly believe that as I get older, my life is just gonna get even more fabulous, even more abundant, even more epic. And I really truly believe that in turning 40, this is just the beginning. So I’m very excited for what lies ahead.

Grace: Yeah. Amazing. So for anybody that is encountering failure, like, do you think failure is necessary for success, and how did you bounce back from failure?

Yumi: Well, to me, I feel like the only failure is not trying and giving yourself a chance. And so I feel like even when things don’t work out, I like to reframe those as experiments and gathering data. So then that takes away that negative charge of the binary of failure and success. It’s really interesting because I feel like sometimes your biggest failure can end up actually being the roots of your next big success. And also on the flip side of the coin, sometimes your success can make you stagnant and be less inclined to take more chances or be more innovative. So I really just like to see everything as experiments and gathering data. And then so I feel like success then is trying new things and evolving and never settling into a stagnant state, and then I think failure is staying exactly as you are and never changing.

Grace: Wow. Yes. So that is the permission slip for anyone listening to try new things and go after what you want because you never know if you don’t try. So we’re gonna move into our fast five questions. What is your Sun, Moon, and Rising?

Yumi: Sagittarius Sun, Aquarius Rising, Virgo Moon.

Grace: What advice would you give to your younger self?

Yumi: Meditate and love yourself.

Grace: How would you define everyday magic?

Yumi: Everyday magic is paying attention to the magic that is already around you and within you.

Grace: What are your favorite rituals?

Yumi: My favorite rituals, lighting candles and also pulling a tarot card at the beginning of the day before I start journaling.

Grace: What are you looking forward to in the near future?

Yumi: I’m looking forward to going blonde. And I’m also visiting a friend in Denver, so I’m looking forward to getting out of Los Angeles for a bit and switching up my scenery.

Grace: Nice. Okay. So we’re gonna end the podcast interview with a collective reading from Yumi’s deck, Cosmic Comfort. And if you wanna talk about your process in creating this deck, feel free because I realize we talked so much about Themes of the Sun. But But if you wanna share your process in creating this, definitely let us know.

✨ Serendipitous Oracle Deck Creation

Yumi: Yeah. So, obviously, I I love tarot in Oracle decks, and so it’s been in the back of my mind to make my own Oracle deck. And the opportunity came to me very serendipitously insofar that my agent was trying to resell the publishing right to an older book title that went out of print. And so as she was reaching out to different publishers, when she reached out to Clarkson and Potter, the response that they gave to us was that they were going to pass on the opportunity to republish this older book title, but they wanted to know if I was interested in making an oracle deck. And so of course I said yes, and it’s funny that that opportunity just presented itself to me without me actively seeking it out or working towards that. And so I feel like as somebody who loves Oracle decks, I think the first step of the process was deciding what the general overall feel of the deck was, what was the vibe and the wavelength of the overall energetics of this oracle deck. And so my first working title was, I think it was something like soft and tender cosmic sensual weirdo. And I feel like that sort of captured to me my target audience as well as the kind of energy I wanted to bring to people, which is I wanted it to be cosmic.

Yumi: I wanted it to be for the weirdos. I also wanted a pretty gentle depth as opposed to sort of the sometimes heavy Judeo Christian imagery of something like the writer in way, which is also cool in its own way, but I wanted something a little gentler than that. And so, ultimately, I really wanted my deck to feel like a hug from your weirdo friend telling you it’s okay to be a total weirdo. And also you’re connected to the cosmos and also be connected to your body. Like, you’re like a soft and tender sensual weirdo. And so and so there was that. And then I think after that, it was then deciding what keywords and terms would be encompassed in the deck. And so a lot of the initial stages in coming up with the deck contents was just making lists constantly of what are the keywords, what are the terms, the archetypes that I want each deck to represent.

Yumi: And so I feel like after making list after list multiple times, it was then seeing what key terms kept rising to the surface, what words felt repetitive and can be combined with other words, and then ultimately just deciding, okay, these are the words that really encompass what I want to convey in this deck and what I want people to pull, or also what I personally would be excited to pull if I were to be a person using this deck. And also a lot of the creation of this deck was a collaborative process between me and the editorial team. So for example, it was my editor who came up with the title Cosmic Comfort,

Grace: and

Yumi: I was really fortunate to work with an editor who already was very familiar with my work, was already a fan of my work, was actually a book buyer at Urban Outfitters that advocated for my very first published book, I think I am in front love with you, to be sold through Urban Outfitters. So this is a person who already had a very long history with my work and so already understood my brand and my aesthetics and my world view. And so Cosmic Comfort was as much as I wanna take credit for it. It was my editor who came up with it. And as soon as she said it, I was like, yes, this is it. And also the design of the box, that was through the designer. So I’m really grateful that the publisher gave me a holographic feel to the box that is, like, shiny and very pretty. And it also took a really long time to nail the aesthetics of the card deck.

Yumi: I actually created this whole pile of artwork in a completely different style that ultimately wasn’t used because my editor really wanted something with more simple line work. And I’m really glad that she steered me in that direction because I think ultimately that just made for a more visually appealing deck that was less cluttered and more simplified. So there were a lot of collaborative decisions that were made, and also I was just really grateful to be working with this specific group of people that made the deck two what it is right now.

Grace: To give this the metaphor of being the Sun, I suppose, it’s giving life. It had a lot of creators involved, including yourself, but encompasses a lot of you in it and also had people supporting you in creating this vision. So I feel like it was synchronistic. I think a word actually that comes up for me with the Sun along with purpose is alignment. So when you receive this opportunity, it was already in alignment with what you were putting out in the world, what you believe in, what you were already sharing. So it was in alignment with everything else that you were doing. So it just seemed like divine timing almost. Yeah.

Grace: So let’s go into the collective reading.

Yumi: Yes. Absolutely. Okay. I’m shuffling the cards now. Okay. Card for the collect oh, okay. So I pulled the receive card, so I’m gonna read it. Are you fully receiving what is already yours? Receiving can feel vulnerable, especially if you have learned to be a people pleaser as a survival strategy and think little of your own needs.

Yumi: Step back from anticipating others’ needs and simply slow down, receive. Imagine you are opening your heart to the sky and the rainfall of blessings is cascading down upon you. Revel in the pleasure of receiving, relishing, savoring, enjoying. Receiving is not selfish at all. It is actually more selfish to refuse the gifts that are already around you and for you. And so I think the thing that comes to mind is I feel like people mistake receiving with consuming or extracting. And I feel like on a surface level, people may think that, oh, receiving is selfish. I should just give, give, give.

Yumi: But I feel like a lesson I had to learn is that receiving needs to happen as much as you are giving. And it’s just part of the cycle of being a relational entity in this world. This is how you can’t have an exhale without an inhale. You can’t have receiving without giving. You can’t have giving without receiving. And I I think also, especially for people who grew up as people pleasers, AKA me, I feel like receiving was something that was hard for me initially. But with practice, now I’m really great at receiving. And I feel like receiving is not necessarily it’s not the same as accruing more material or buying more stuff or getting more material things.

✨ Embracing the Art of Receiving

Yumi: I feel like on an energetic level, receiving is about letting allowing to let in the love that people are already giving you, allowing to fully receive the beauty of nature or the magic of the universe that is already around you, being receptive to other people’s kindness, other people’s attention and care, being receptive to the knowledge that is available around you and within you. I feel like receiving also comes hand in hand with paying attention. I feel like for the collective, I wanna say it’s about carving off that space within yourself where you can be receptive, you could be paying attention, and you are in a place where you can be like, yes, I am ready to receive. I’m ready to receive love. I’m ready to receive abundance. I’m ready to receive care. I’m ready to receive respect, integrity, all the good things that life has to offer. The ironic thing is that as you get better at receiving, you also become a better giver because the reservoir that you carved out within yourself is so much deeper.

Yumi: So that when you are in the cycle of being ready to give, ready to serve, you are coming from a much deeper place as opposed to an overextended and taxed place where you are feeling resentful for giving because you’re never receiving. So receive, receive, receive. That is my message to the collective.

✨ Capacity to Give and Receive

Grace: Yeah. Wow. That’s really beautiful. And I was also thinking about when I am in periods of overextension, my capacity to give is so much less. But I think reflected back, you know, what you just said, I also feel like my capacity to receive is so much less too because of how overextended I can get. So, yeah, I really love that visual of if you’re like imagining a vessel and you’re filling it up with water and you’re able to give more water because you have more water to give versus, like, if you have a more shallow vessel or maybe that vessel’s, like, filled with dirt or something and it’s not able to hold as much, then people, collective I’ve been in these moments. And so I think that’s so powerful to take away that it is actually a gift to receive too for the other person because they’re also being received for their full light and gifts and everything relating back to the Sun of, like, the vitality that they’re sharing with you because let’s say the Sun unapologetically shines, but they also give you life. They give you vitamin d.

Grace: They allow plants to grow, crops to harvest, and all of that, and that in itself is a gift. So there’s so much of the reciprocity of giving and receiving that I think go in tandem with one another.

Yumi: Absolutely. And I think with the Sun, the Sun is constantly emitting light, and we can just receive it instead of putting up these barriers between ourselves and the Sun. And, of course, the Sun is a metaphor. It’s not just a literal Sun. It can also be love. It can also be friendship. It can also be abundance. It can also be success.

Yumi: It can also be more opportunities. And then thinking that that wavelength, it’s all there. It’s all being directed at you. So then the task at hand is what are the internal barriers that you can remove within yourself so that you can fully receive what is already being directed at you.

Grace: Yeah. And I feel like for so many of us that may not be aware of what’s being given, it could also just be, like, noticing and magnifying the simple things. Like, maybe you’re just going to have to be a sunny day, whereas maybe last week you were so busy you didn’t even notice or something. So I feel like the little things also add up over time. So thank you so much, Yumi, for spending so much time with us here and for sharing your wisdom, your presence, and your light. Everybody go out and get the Cosmic Comfort deck, and where can people find you on social media and all the things?

Yumi: So I’m the most active on Instagram at yumi sakugawa. If you are not a social media person, then you can subscribe to my newsletter, And you can find the link to subscribe to my newsletter at my website, yumisakugawa.com. And also at my website, as well as the link in my Instagram profile, you can find links for all the different ways you can order Cosmic Art.

Grace: Awesome. Thanks so much, Yumi.

Yumi: Thank you, Grace.

Grace: Until next time. Bye.

Yumi: Bye.

✨ End of Episode – Make Sure to Leave a Podcast Review!

Grace: Thanks so much for tuning in to today’s episode with Yumi Sakugawa. This was such a warm, joyful, and creatively inspiring conversation. Yumi reminded us that embracing our full selves, your weirdness, your brilliance, your joy is one of the most healing things you can do. Here’s a journaling prompt for you. What does it look like to live in your joy? How do you express your most radiant self? Share what lights you up in the comments or podcast reviews. I’d love to know. And as a reminder, we will be doing a giveaway of Yumi’s deck Cosmic Comfort over on Instagram, YouTube, and all of the socials. So make sure to check that out. Grace: Until next time, keep choosing joy. Keep choosing you. Sending you grace today and every day.

Follow Mystic Mondays

Instagram

TikTok

YouTube

Facebook

X (formerly known as Twitter)

Pinterest

LinkedIn

Tumblr

Snapchat