00:00 Intro Clip

00:33 Opening

02:32 Interview with Lisa Stardust Begins!

04:04 Defining Love

07:01 Discovering Your Love Language

13:23 Temptations of Love, Similarities Between the Lovers and the Devil Tarot Card

15:36 The Dualistic Nature of Tarot and the Lovers Card

28:56 AD – Learn Tarot with the Mystic Mondays Tarot Course! tarotcourse.mysticmondays.com

29:35 Love Indicators in Astrology

37:46 Most Common Questions About Love in Astrology

48:45 Lisa’s process in creating the Love Deck

50:45 Collective Reading with Lisa’s the Love Deck

55:56 End of episode – remember to leave a podcast review on Apple podcasts!

56:51 End Screen

Hello beautiful souls and welcome to the GRACED Podcast where we talk about how we can infuse everyday magic into your everyday life through tarot, rituals, wellness, and today – astrology and LOVE.

Today’s guest is Lisa Stardust, a New York City based astrologer who is also the resident astrologer on The Today Show. She is also the bestselling author of books and decks alike and today we get to have a special collective reading from her Love deck!

Lisa and I talk about the themes of the Lovers card, which is all about love, relationships, but also one’s relationship with self. The choices we make in alignment with our value system and how we can practice more unconditional love in our own lives.

To celebrate this episode, Lisa and I are doing a giveaway of her Love deck, which is filled with 70 cards to ignite attraction, passion, and romance. To enter the giveaway, leave a podcast review. And follow us on social media. Full rules to enter will be in the show notes.

Now let’s dive into this episode.

Buy the Love Deck by Lisa Stardust on Amazon

💖 Introduction

Grace Duong: Hello beautiful souls and welcome to the GRACED Podcast where we talk about how we can infuse everyday magic into your everyday life through tarot, rituals, wellness, and today – astrology and LOVE.

Today’s guest is Lisa Stardust, a New York City based astrologer who is also the resident astrologer on The Today Show. She is also the bestselling author of books and decks alike and today we get to have a special collective reading from her Love deck!

Lisa and I talk about the themes of the Lovers card, which is all about love, relationships, but also one’s relationship with self. The choices we make in alignment with our value system and how we can practice more unconditional love in our own lives.

To celebrate this episode, Lisa and I are doing a giveaway of her Love deck, which is filled with 70 cards to ignite attraction, passion, and romance. To enter the giveaway, leave a podcast review. And follow us on social media. Full rules to enter will be in the show notes.

Now let’s dive into this episode.

✨ Interview with Lisa Stardust Begins!

Grace Duong: Hello Lisa, and welcome to the podcast.

Lisa Stardust: Hi, thanks for having me. I’m so excited to be here. I’m a huge fan of your tarot deck, and so are all the members of my extended family and friends. We love the Mystic Mondays deck and the art and everything. Yes, it’s fabulous.

Grace Duong: Yeah, and I think that’s how we got connected too. Like I remember we did a trade or something. You did a reading for me and I did a reading for you. And actually I do remember you focusing on love during that reading.

Lisa Stardust: I mean, I have a Libra rising. My Venus is Retrograde and I’m, all of my Venus is in cancer. I’m born under a Full Moon. I’m all about love, and I’m also a Gemini.

Which is the Lovers card, which we’re gonna get into in a hot minute. But I always say Geminis are the ride or die signs of the Zodiac. We are the only signs that have our bestie along with us for the ride. So I’m always looking at life through relationships and as a Libra rising, I do my best to make all my relationships work whenever I can.

Grace Duong: Yeah, and I’m a Gemini Rising, so that definitely resonates in terms of like how I’m relating to others. And I find that the Lovers card in tarot is also about choice and self-love, because we’re often making choices in Alignment with who we are. And sometimes that might not fall in line with. Who we are in relationship with.

✨ Defining Love

Grace Duong: And so I was wondering how can one make the best choices for themselves as they evolve on their journey? And what is the definition of love even?

Lisa Stardust: Well, I believe that in order to love other people, it starts with the journey within yourself. So you can’t really give the proper and right kinds of love to people unless you love yourself first. And that can take a lifetime, centuries, months, however long to figure out. But having the confidence within yourself and being able to have a generous spirit and unconditionality within yourself is really important. And I also think that being able to give those things to yourself is where it starts. I always say to people, every day is a journey. We do our best to get through the day. I set my days off with an intention and I manifest, and I also meditate twice a day just to make sure that I’m giving myself that time. And I think that self-care in terms of self-love is really important. And it could be, even if it’s like treating yourself to an expensive latte or getting a manicure or pedicure, or just taking time to unwind and rest, that’s really important.

Now, when it comes to loving others, I always think that as long as you come from a pure place and you open yourself up with a pure heart and you have good intentions, and you care for people, and they mutually respect your needs, and they give to you what you’re giving to them. Reciprocation is key. I think that’s love.

But I also have a Libra rising, so I always come from like the standpoint of it’s a two-way street. So an example would be my mom is not really good at organizing her bills, right? And I’m really, I hate doing errands, right? Mundane stuff. So I’ll organize her bills, I’ll take care of like all the phone calls, and she’ll pick up my dry cleaning for me.

Go to the store, do this, do that, do laundry for me, you know? And I think that even that reciprocal relationship is a testimony because we do things for those that we love, and for me, my love language is acts of service and we all have a love language that we relate to. So funny enough, my mom’s gifts, so she’s like, I’m not gonna pick up your laundry unless you like, you know, you do this for me and you get it, but we all have our different love language and I think that understanding what yours is can really help you identify how you want to love others and how others love you.

Grace Duong: Yeah, there’s so many juicy things that you dived into already, but since we’re talking about the love languages, I know that mine is also acts of service and words of affirmation, and so I believe another one is touch, gifts, and what was the other one?

Lisa Stardust: Time, quality time.

✨ Discovering Your Love Language

Grace Duong: Yeah. And so I’m wondering with these love languages, like how can one discover what theirs is, but also how can they discover what another person’s is? Because not everyone’s love language is the same as receiving. So for example, I think one of my ways of expressing gratitude for someone else is to give gifts, but it’s not necessarily my way of receiving love to the fullest extent of what I prefer.

Lisa Stardust: Yeah. I mean, I’m a gift giver, but I also give gifts because I like the act of picking out gifts too. That’s part of the love language that like it’s meaningful. It means something special. Like I will search high and low to get my mother the specific peony color, that she likes for mother’s day cause peonies are her favorite flowers but there’s so many different colors. So I’ll search high and low to get my best friend the necklace she wanted 10 years ago. Meaningful things and I think that there’s something into that, and also giving up my time to help people as well. I do you have a Virgo stellium, so I love helping people. Virgos love to help, loves to give and I have a lot of patience, believe it or not, until I don’t. But I’m just like, I love and I like the smile on people’s faces. It makes me feel happy to kind of make people happy. And you’re Aries Sun too, so you get it.

Grace Duong: Yeah. Gemini Rising, Aries Sun, Pisces Moon. So lots of good elements there, but I actually have a Capricorn and Aquarius stellium.

Lisa Stardust: That’s what I meant. You have an Aquarius. I remember it was a lot of Aquarius and Capricorn in your chart because I was like, Grace is a go getter. You makes things happen.

Grace Duong: Cannot help myself.

Yeah, so I know you mentioned reciprocity and that’s something in relationships that I feel like is really important and with Gemini being represented in the Lovers tarot card, and there’s just this element of too, this giving and receiving, and I’m wondering, sometimes there can be an extent of loving to an extent of sacrificing yourself. Cuz even you mentioned something along the lines of giving up your time, and I’m wondering if there is a type of love that exists without sacrifice and a way of generating for one self.

Lisa Stardust: Well, I’m gonna relate this. I’m gonna say how I feel when I’m gonna talk about the Lovers, but I do think that for me, when I give my time to a friend who’s in need, there’s a mutual understanding that when I’m in need, they’re gonna give back to me. Does that make sense? So we all have different problems at different times in our lives that if someone can down the road, have my back or defend me or take my side or do anything meaningful or even listens to me when I’m crying, that means a lot to me or when I’m stressed or when I’m having a bad day.

So I think that there is like this sort of mutual agreement that you sign when you’re friends with people or when you’re in a relationship with people and you’re really close and tight that you’ll do for each other, even colleagues as well. Like you do for me, I do for you. I’ll help you out. If you’re trying to launch something, like I have no problem helping you advertise it on my social media or get pressed like in an article I’m working on.

And I think that’s something that we all have to work together with because I think that a lot of people don’t do that and there is something to that helping people out and unifying and building a community and kind of aligning. And I think that’s something really nice to do and I would do that for anyone, but I don’t, some people don’t like to promote other people and I feel we all have the same goals to make astrology and tarot like put that magic into the world. So why not help everyone.

When it comes to the Lovers card, funny enough, I always pull the Lovers card when it comes to my relationships and when I’m starting to DTR, define the relationship. Because I’m always, my Mercurial mind is always at a crossroads. How do want to pursue this? So, when I pull the Lovers card for me, it’s always, like you said, but a moment of choice, crossroads time to see where things are going. And it’s interesting enough because I’ve always seen that the Lovers card, that it’s Adam and Eve, correct? In the traditional deck, and it’s the Garden of Eden. So it’s about temptation. Are you gonna take the high road or the good road? Are you going cheat on your partner or not? I’ve also seen that in a lot of tarot questions about cheating as well.

Grace Duong: Ooh, yeah. You know, when I pull the Lovers card for someone else, I always think about the relationship with self, and I suppose in some ways the reflection of. If you decide to cheat on your partner, for example, it all comes down to your value systems, which is also what the Lovers tarot card is about, and aligning yourself to make the choices that align with your personal integrity, your personal system, and so, I think that speaks to the choices that people make when you kind of have this Devil over your shoulder and you make that choice of cheating on somebody. I suppose then that relationship wasn’t aligned in the first place and you’re making that choice to go that other route.

Lisa Stardust: Yeah, I mean, tarot and astrology is all about interpretation and being a tarot reader for many, many, many years, that you’re painting a story based on the cards that you’re pulling, and it’s sort of like there’s a blank canvas and you’re painting with the paintbrush based on all of the other cards that you’re pulling.

So if you’re pulling the Lovers and you’re pulling the High Priestess and maybe Seven of Swords or the Devil all open there, it’s like run, run, run. So I think it depends on everything that’s clarifying it and impacting it. But for me personally, I’ve always definitely seen the Lovers as a card where I’m unsure about the person and I need to make a decision if I wanna stay or go before things get too deep.

Because when I pulled it reversed, it usually means that a decision’s been made or a commitment’s been decided or discussed.

✨ Temptations of Love, Similarities Between the Lovers and the Devil Card

Grace Duong: Yeah. Well, it’s interesting that you mentioned the Devil because the Lovers, the traditional Rider–Waite Lovers card and the Devil card have a lot of similarities in having like two figures, typically both male and female. And in the Devil card, the Devil’s in the center as well as I believe it’s the Tree of Life in the traditional Lovers card. And so there are a lot of similarities in painting that narrative in the temptation of love. And the choices that we can make, whether it’s “good or bad”. But it just displays, I think, the spectrum of human emotion and how that can drive our human decisions that we can speak to in the name of love, but can also speak to human desire, right? And human lust and we can say it’s love, but that’s why I asked like, what is love really?

Lisa Stardust: You know, even in the Lovers card I wanna say, and the Devil card, there is this dualistic nature. And the thing that’s interesting about the Devil card, which I always remembered cause my great-grandmother used to read tarot, is that there is a key in the corner of the card in the Rider–Waite deck. So don’t forget, you can unchain yourself whenever you want. You just don’t want to with the Devil. So I always think that there’s this dualistic nature to the Devil card where you’re with a person, but you don’t have to be, and you don’t probably wanna be, but you’re not doing anything to get out of the situation.

Now with the Lovers, I think the dualistic flexibility is that, don’t forget, Eve took the bite of that apple, even though she was with Adam and she was told not to, she was tempted. So I think that the dualistic nature of the Lovers is that, not saying there was a third party, but the situation to do that is there, or if there’s a different situationship that’s forming, not which what you had thought.

So I always think that the Lovers card has this sort of interesting flavor to it in the sense that we were connected to, I think our spirituality, but like, and also the physical world. So it’s sort of physical versus the material world versus the spiritual world that we’re a part of.

✨ The Dualistic Nature of Tarot and the Lovers Card

Grace Duong: Yeah. I love that you mentioned that tarot is dualistic because I think tarot has a system with upright and reversed meanings and you often see complimentary matches within the cards, but even with the cards themselves, something with the Lovers is we’re seeing, I think, fractals of our own relationship with self through relating to others. So like relating to your partner. You could also relate that to, let’s say, the relationship that you had with your mother or father and how you treat yourself, I think is often how that reflects outward into how you treat other people. And so I think that for me, the Lovers is so much about your relationship to self and how can you, if you have the key, like how can you reframe the relationship that you have with yourself? And I’m sure as an astrologer you get love questions all the time. And so I think this is a lot about the relationship, like what you’re saying to yourself, the script that you have for your own love relationship, how you relate to love as, let’s say an entity or a being. Let’s say love is an external being kind of like how people say money is this entity. I think we can also relate to love being like an entity as well, but oftentimes I think we tend to look externally for that validation from somebody else when a lot of times we can learn to give it to ourselves, fill ourselves up, and then approach relationships in a way that can feel a bit more whole so that we’re not looking for those outside things from someone else.

Lisa Stardust: I mean, it’s interesting because the first thing that came to mind when you were talking is the notion of truthfulness. So when we’re speaking to ourselves and to our others, I think the most important thing is to be truthful and to be honest with ourselves about things.

What is our capacity right now to love? Can we do this? I always say to people, the infamous sign is sometimes people can’t be in relationships because you’re dealing with a lot of stuff, right? And I get that and I can see that in your birth chart. Like someone’s like, I can’t be in a relationship.

It’s like, no, they really can’t. But sometimes people, even if they have a lot going on, they can be in a relationship, but the quality of love they can give to other people isn’t great, because you’re dealing with a lot of things as well behind in the scenes. Now the other thing that came to my mind too, when we’re talking about dualistic things and relationships, is there’s always that sentiment about what goes on behind closed doors versus what’s seen in public.

So there’s that notion where someone could be complaining all the time about their partner. But really love them. Maybe that’s their love language, you know? I don’t know. But I think that for me, I’m really hard on the people that I love the most and like I want them to be the best version of themselves so I push people like Tina Fey said in Mean Girls; “I’m a pusher.” I am a pusher. And I think that if you care about someone, you want them to achieve the most that they can. I think that there are different ways we support each other, and I think if you really love someone deeply, you want them to succeed.

And I think that sometimes it’s great to be selfish and you should always make sure your cup is full first before you can give to other people. But it’s also okay to let others have the win sometimes if that’s what they need. Cause that’s what I mean by being unconditional in love, is that I don’t need to win an argument with someone to know I’m right. Like I’ve learned that in my life. I have a Sag Moon. This is very hard for me to do, okay? I’m Gemini Sun, Sag Moon, Virgo stellium. Like to not confront people and to let them have the win and to let them think they’re right has always been a challenge for me and I’ve worked on that a lot over the past years and cuz I don’t wanna escalate things cause there are people I care about and I don’t wanna fight over something minimal. And I think that having a big heart is just also having boundaries of people and knowing limits and to just know when even limits and boundaries with yourself too.

Grace Duong: Yeah. Yeah. And the capacity to give and to receive. I think just understanding how one works. I think that’s really interesting that there can be times when, there are times when you are giving more, and there are times when you’re receiving more. And I think when it comes to relationships and love, it’s kind of hard when you’re tallying up the score. And I…

Lisa Stardust: Oh, I never tally.

Grace Duong: Well, yeah, so I think you don’t, but I think a lot of people tend to, and so…

Lisa Stardust: I used to, yes.

Grace Duong: Yeah. And it can be hard. And so I think that lends itself to this idea of unconditional love and being able to give love and receive love without necessarily gaining it. I think. You know, that’s actually a theme that’s come up lately for me is embodying this unconditional love in every cell of my body. And I think that’s something to work through for anyone. But for me, it’s very much tied to this sense of worthiness and also being able to be claimed for love. And I think often, and for me, it’s about seeing yourself in a loving way that can attract more love into your life. And so I’m sure people are always asking you as an astrologer, like, how can I bring in more love into my life? And I’m wondering what you tell them.

Lisa Stardust: Well, I think the most important thing is to work with the planet Venus. Cause Venus represents love and confidence and beauty and abundance. So for me, I was born during a Venus Retrograde, unfortunately in Cancer. So I go through relationships backwards. So I’m like I commit, like after knowing someone, but I’m like, Ugh, I don’t like this person. How do I get outta this? After like a month, I think the most important thing is to really, whether you’re working with an orisha, whether you’re working with another deity, or whether you’re working with Venus. I think the most important thing here is to basically really journal. I always say journaling is really healthy to find out what you’re kind of looking for. I’ve manifested people before, that have come my way. I’ve left out a lot of other things, so be really careful what you wish for because sometimes the universe can bring someone to you, which they have other stuff, other problems than you know. But I think it’s more about when you’re ready. And I think that everyone wants love. We all wanna be connected. There’s something more beautiful than sharing like our souls and our hearts and our lives with someone.

But I think it depends. When your chart is plump and right for it, and a lot of the times there are so many things that we look for when it comes to love in astrology, but the classic signifiers are looking at a progressed chart and seeing if the progressed Sun or the progressed Venus align with the natal Venus or natal Moon, because that really means that the timing’s right, the eclipses coming to your Venus, the nodes coming to your Venus, Jupiter coming to your Venus. Even Pluto coming to your Venus can mean love. So we look for any aspect to Venus. Personally, I like the hard aspects because it means something is definitely happening and permeating there and like coming to fruition. Some people like the soft aspects cause love is a dream. It’s beautiful. It’s easy. It really depends what you’re looking for.

Now when it comes to synastry and compatibility, I think that I’m one of the many astrologers nowadays who’s kind of looking past that. I mean, obviously there are classic signifiers that would denote long term compatibility and not so much, but I think that I’ve seen the people who have the worst compatibility stay together the longest because now with modern psychology, we’re always trying to work through problems, right? To understand people. So people that have hard aspects, they wanna understand the other person, and that can create a bond within itself and a commitment too. So, love trump’s astrology. A Scorpio and an Aquarius can find love very easily. I’ve seen it happen. A Taurus and a Leo can fall in love. A Gemini and a Pisces can make it work.

I think that it’s all about what you’re willing to put into it, which would be the Lovers card as well, because once again, here we’re choosing to commit. We’re choosing to find someone to share our lives with, even if they are the opposite of us. And that could be like the dualistic nature. Yes, it’s hard, but it’s also rewarding in other ways.

Grace Duong: Yeah. And I find that when you do come across someone who’s different from you and has a different perspective, It can also help you grow when you approach it from a place of understanding and compassion versus just wanting to call it quits. I’m sure there’s other things at play like attraction, chemistry, all of that stuff.

Lisa Stardust: Yeah, but I mean, I think that it’s easy. I think that for me, because I am a mercurial person, and for me attraction is more about like intellectualism. So for me, I’m attracted to people’s minds. So I think that if someone’s really talented, creatively talented, or artistic, I’m attracted to what they have to offer, I’m not really. It’s just how air signs roll, I guess. You know, like we’re always kinda looking towards what someone has to offer in sense of like comfort rather than like passion. You’re a fire sign, you’re an Aries, so you’re looking for passion.

Grace Duong: Well, I actually feel like I resonate with what you said because my chart ruler is Mercury and my Venus is in Aquarius. So I actually find the intellect really attractive and I think that’s something I notice first.

Lisa Stardust: Yeah, I mean, I think that we all have our things that we’re into, and I think some signs they look for if someone’s cute, and that’s fine too, because I think that once you get to know the person, you can decide what how you feel.

Grace Duong: Yeah, I mean, I think it all plays a factor like attraction, like if you’re attracted to the person. Intellect, if the minds are melding well, but also I think emotional capacity because some people might not have the same ability to be there for you emotionally. And so I think there’s like a lot of levels to like the initial attraction, the initial things that you find attractive about each other, but also I think that’s different from being able to sustain a relationship over time and something that you mentioned, which is, I think just that understanding and the willingness to grow together, can be a big factor in whether the relationship lasts or not.

Lisa Stardust: Yeah. I mean, Aries jump into relationships, but also the rest of your chart likes to take it slow. So you’re the type of person where you look at someone and you’re like, okay, I like them. Like I like them. I’m in it. But then you’re like, wait a second. Like I need to slow myself down and get to know them. I wanna like formally understand that this is someone worth investing my time in. Because I think for you it’s more about like an investment of time, relationships, and energy and love, right?

So for me it’s just like, can I have a conversation with this person. Can I see Indiana Jones with this person? And have an intellectual conversation after the movies while getting coffee about the movie with them. Have they read Foucault? Do they understand philosophy? So it’s just, are they down to go on a road trip on a whim? So I think that we all look for things in our ideal person, but sometimes we’re not gonna find all of them. And sometimes we really just have to like have other relationships, like friendships that fulfill other parts of our personality and passions.

Grace Duong: Yeah, that totally makes sense. And I think also the added factor of just the uprising and wanting to understand through psychology and just kind of get each other on a level of just making it work. And also I think they’re just more resources. For people to understand each other. Astrology being one of them.

Lisa Stardust: Tarot too. I mean, actually I learned from my therapist that astrology and tarot and everything that runes, everything that we love to do, I love to do, you love to do. You know, basically, I always tell people that the thing here about that is that it’s just helping us understand the world from a different perspective. So it’s allowing us to take an outside step and to view ourselves from sort of like who we are and what our purpose is, and how we go through relationships and how we understand ourselves and identify. So, I mean, astrology and tarot has changed my life in so many ways, and not just from even helping me cope with anxiety, but also allowing me to understand relationships and how I can be a better sister, a better daughter, better friend, a better lover. Be supportive of people and what I shouldn’t do, like be a know-it-all with my Sag Moon and fight over little facts when it doesn’t matter.

Grace Duong: Right, yeah.

✨ Love Indicators in Astrology

Grace Duong: So what are some indicators in astrology that love is a prime theme in your life?

Lisa Stardust: You would probably look to see what Venus and the Moon are doing individually. So for me, my Moon, I’m born on a Full Moon and my Moon conjuncts Neptune. So obviously I have like a soft heart. Well, I know people are taking advantage of me and I’m like, okay. Sometimes, in certain situations like I’m unconditional, I’m forgiving. Full Moon people, they’re relationship oriented people. Because there’s a story here about the way they were raised, like of the relationship that their parents had. Usually there’s some disconnect between the parents or a divorce that happens that makes them. Full Moon people really wanna work on relationships and try to figure it out. Other indications for love. I always like a good Venus conjunct the North Node is a good one. Venus conjunct the South Node means that you tend to get stuck in a lot of relationships. So even if you’re unhappy, it’s hard to get out of it, or you can be a little bit lovesick.

I like a good Venus conjunct Jupiter cuz Jupiter’s all about expansion. Venus Conjunct the Moon means that you have a lot of love to give. Venus conjunct the Sun means that you love LOVE and Venus conjunct Neptune means that like your love is like a big part of your life because you’re unconditional to a fault.

Any planet really conjunct Venus and the Moon is what I’m trying to say. Even the bad ones, like Venus conjunct Pluto. Not that Pluto’s a bad planet, but Venus, conjunct. Pluto can mean that you’re really passionate and you’re really intense when it comes to love. Yeah, not a bad thing.

Grace Duong: Yeah. You know, I think even if it’s a more challenging aspect, there’s always something to learn about yourself, which could be the Venus conjunct Pluto. I have Venus conjunct North Node.

Lisa Stardust: Yeah, so that means that something that’s really important in your lifetime is relationships and money, partnerships. I would say based on your chart with all of the Capricorn and Aquarius, Venus conjunct the North Node, like love is a big deal and relationships are a big deal. But how much time where you willing to invest in things that aren’t giving you a big payback. So it’s more about time is money, like time is love. And also more or less, I would say, what sign is your Venus in?

Grace Duong: Aquarius, but Venus is also conjunct my Mars.

Lisa Stardust: Oh, so Venus conjunct your Mars on the North node means that you are someone who is always looking to understand themselves in relationships. Venus conjunct Mars means that you can fulfill yourself in love. So self-love is something that you must master before you connect with someone else. And also when you connect with someone else. I would say the other most important thing here is that you have to sacrifice a little bit cuz you have a high list of demands or can put your needs first when it comes to relationships.

So it’s like, if you wanna see the Indiana Jones movie, they wanna see the Barbie movie. Like, okay, let’s see the Barbie movie. Let’s go to this one because it will make you happy. But I get to choose where I wanna have dinner. So I think it’s about compromise also.

Grace Duong: I definitely resonate with the self-love, and I feel like I’ve been on that journey for quite some time, only because I do believe that internal reflects external and that relationships that I’ve attracted into my life tend to reveal some wounds that I might have, and I think that can reflect back into my own relationship to self. And so I think a lot of what I live by is having that really strong relationship with self. So that could be understanding your limitations, just having more awareness. I mean, where these wounds come from, whether in this life or in past lives or future lives.

I just did a past life regression training. So I’m all about tuning into the past lives right now. But I believe that there’s just so much to explore when it comes to the relationship of self. But most of all, because the relationship that you have with your yourself is beyond any relationship that you can have with another, meaning that you have the relationship with yourself throughout your entire lifetime, this lifetime or any other lifetime. And that’s why I feel like it’s the most important relationship that you can cultivate.

Lisa Stardust: Yeah. But once add onto that, it goes into the whole thing about exactly what you’re saying. But you also can really start to define what you want and what you need and what your boundaries and limits are. Because before I was able to speak up for myself, I didn’t know anything about boundaries.

And before, I was like, okay, everyone calls me whenever they want and step all over me and say what they wanna say to me and take a lot of crud and now I’m just like, you know what? I’m not responding to that. Cause that’s just, I can’t even like, okay, like you won the argument. Congratulations. But it’s also knowing that a lot of what people are, say, they just say to hurt and it’s just them deflecting how they feel about themselves and projecting onto you.

Grace Duong: Absolutely. Yeah, I definitely have received that too. And that’s the understanding of knowing where that’s coming from. And I think, cause when you’re kind of put in a position of just being more visible, you’ll get people coming at you from different directions. And for me, just understanding that a lot of the more negative things that can come your way is often a reflection of how they’re feeling about themselves or just taking it out on someone that has no direct relationship with them. And I think that has a lot to do with your relationship to self. And that’s why I feel like the biggest transformation that this planet could have is just a more upleveling of your own awareness of yourself in how you stand in relationship to other people so that you’re not spreading hate or unsolicited negative comments. And likewise, it can be hurtful when you receive comments like that, but, there’s also a lot of positive comments too, and I think it’s been a learning for me to concentrate more on the positivity than the negative, cuz that can stick more.

Lisa Stardust: Well, I think that, with social media nowadays, people can hide behind their computers or devices and say whatever they wanna say to people without no repercussions. Back in the day, it’s half the stuff people say to us online or half of the emails that we get. In like the 1990s, if we were to say that, we would have to say it to someone’s face, or call them, or send them a letter, and we’d get punched. You know what I mean?

So I’m just saying that there is sort of like this kinda, that’s just what people do on these platforms. Like if they’re in a bad mood, they just take it out on someone. And that’s not fair because we’re not harming people. We’re just spreading light and love. I always say check yourself before you wreck yourself. So think about how you would feel before you say something to someone else. Or people in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones. It’s just don’t, no one’s perfect, like don’t come at people. No one’s perfect and everyone needs to realize that everyone’s doing the best that they can.

Sometimes, like there are times where you have to deal with an issue on the internet and you have to address something, but I always am the type of person where I discuss it with the person privately just because I think that it gives fuel to the fire and people love to jump on that bandwagon.

Grace Duong: Yeah, and if there was that golden rule in place of just before you send out a hateful comment like how would you like to be treated? Which in some cases, I think some of us might have some really negative things that we’re saying to ourselves, and that’s why I feel like we can come back to a loving, unconditional love type of place.

✨ Most Common Questions about Love in Astrology

Grace Duong: I would love to hear from you in terms of like what are some of the most common questions that you get about love in astrology?

Lisa Stardust: The first, a couple of things that I get about love in as questions I get. I do a whole lot of horary charts, which is a different type of astrology, different rules.

So, the first thing is that I always argue with people who think that they know everything. And I’m like, horary is like very old, it’s like ancient astrology and I’ve been doing it for so many years. Even there’s room for me to study even I’m still studying it. So the one thing I get for a horary chart is are they cheating?

And there are different types of cheating according to astrology. I always get, will this relationship work out? How do they feel about me? And I always say the one question that no one ever asks is, will I be happy in this relationship? Cause you can see that too and I’m always wondering why people never ask if they’ll be happy. Because think about it, your happiness is something that matters the most.

Grace Duong: That’s so true.

Lisa Stardust: Psychology 101 by Lisa Stardust.

So I’ve noticed that a lot in the years that I’ve been doing astrology and tarot and like reading for people, reading for myself, even getting readings is that I don’t even ask if I’ll be happy and I think that’s really important thing because part of being a fulfilled person is being happy.

Will this relationship make me happy? This is a good partner for me? Are we compatible? No one wants to know that. They just wanna know like what the other person’s doing. But I think that’s part of the social media type of world that we live in, where we have so much access to people all the time. And the 15 minutes that we don’t have access to them, when they’re not responding, we begin to kind of flip out. They haven’t responded in 15 minutes. Oh my gosh! It’s like back in the day, people used to not respond for days or what before even they had answering machines. You would call someone, their line would be busy, you’d have to wait to talk to them, or you would just go to their apartment or house or write a letter.

Grace Duong: Yeah. And I know I’ve been talking a lot about relationship to self, but also I think that speaks to the capacity to be alone and just to enjoy your own company in solitude because I think because we have all this access to direct access to not just our like inner circle, so like friends, family, whoever belongs there, but also extended circle and also other people that we don’t even know that we constantly might compare ourselves to. And I think that speaks to what we might feel in social media, just like this constant comparison with our lives compared to another. But I also think that speaks to, like you mentioned earlier on that we really don’t know what’s going on behind closed doors. So sending compassion to ourselves and in the moment of whatever discomfort we’re feeling when we are in that mode of comparison. But also for that other person because we have no idea what struggles they might be going through.

Lisa Stardust: But also it talks about our own boundaries and other people’s boundaries too. Because like many years ago, someone didn’t respond right away. I’d be like, oh my god. What are they doing? They hate me.

But I think that now I’m sort of just like, I’m gonna take my time in responding to people because I wanna be present for the conversation, or I have a lot going on, or maybe I want to be alone. So I think that that talks about self-love too. It’s about knowing what your limits are.

Grace Duong: Absolutely.

Lisa Stardust: When it, when the clock hits 8:00, I’m done for the day working. I don’t care who’s emailed me. Or when the clock hits like 4:30 on a Friday. I don’t respond to emails or I don’t respond to anything. And I think that’s something really important. It’s just setting boundaries for yourself because then you know your limits and you can be more present in your own life and you can love yourself more.

Then you can take a walk outside without having to worry about responding to your boss or your friend, and I think that’s important. And you can also be present with people. So this sort of modern way that we’re all thinking now that we need to just take a step back and chill.

And don’t forget, Venus is a chill planet. So, it likes to relax and unwind. It doesn’t like to be pressured. It likes to have a good time. I would say the most important thing is to not be so consumed with what other people are doing too, but to be consumed with what you’re doing for yourself.

Grace Duong: Yeah. I feel like for me as well, boundaries was a huge lesson in learning to love myself. And I think because of my cultural conditioning, there was a lot of sacrifice of one’s self and one’s identity that I went through as a child to then get me to a place of really valuing myself as an individual and really coming to understand what my boundaries were and even what my needs are. And I think by having your boundaries crossed you then learn what they even are. But even acknowledging what your needs are, I think are a huge way of just understanding how to love oneself and speaking up for your needs, and understanding what it is to be loved and how you like to be loved, and how you like to have love be communicated to you. Because I think a huge part of love is just communication and I think that can be a huge reason why there’s a lot of misunderstanding when it comes to love because different needs are not being met by different people. And I feel like when it comes to love, that’s also about choosing oneself and the evolution of love and the evolution of how you relate to somebody else.

Because who I was, let’s say five years ago, my needs were different then than my needs now because I’ve changed as a person. And if you’re willing to grow with somebody else and go on that journey of evolution with that other person, then you can find that your needs change as time evolves and goes along.

Lisa Stardust: Well, I always say everyone has to grow individually and as a couple, so I always say it’s great to have an outside identity and also the identity that you have together. My sister and my brother-in-law. Just celebrated their 20th anniversary since they’ve been married. My sister met him when she was 18 or 19, I’m not sure. And it was her second boyfriend. They’ve grown in different ways, but they always find one interest that they share together. Does that make sense? They go out. They do their own thing. They go away on vacation with their groups, with their friends without the other spouse. Like a girl’s trip or a guy’s trip or whatever they do. They don’t always have to be together. But I think that’s really healthy too when it comes to relationships.

Grace Duong: Yeah, absolutely. There’s different types of love also besides romantic love. There’s love for yourself. There’s familial love. You can love your coworker in the way that you want to show love and affection, and I feel like the journey of love is also ever-evolving and ever-growing. And also I think ties to this theme of identity and like what you identify with. And so like you mentioned your sister and brother-in-law, they have this shared hobby it sounds like, that they have to together and that can bring them back together.

And so for a lot of people, I think that can ignite love and I think stereotypically, we see love as this very fiery, passionate thing, but sometimes it’s not. Sometimes it’s this slow burning thing that sustains over time, and I think that allowing these different definitions of love coexisting with one another can be a healthy thing because sometimes ignite kind of fiery-type of love is not always sustainable. Maybe that’s like what we wanted at one point in our lives, but maybe that’s not what we wanted anymore. As we continue to grow and evolve.

Lisa Stardust: Yeah, I mean I totally agree with that and I think that it’s really important to basically find yourself and to find your own interests that you like to do, makes you feel really good. For me, back in the day, it was astrology. When I was a teenager and I was really into that and crystals and it was something I was passionate about. And before we had Instagram and all of these, social networking places. I would go on forums and talk about astrology and tarot. And having an interest like that made me feel great. And then meeting people who shared that interest there made me feel like I was part of a community and I was being seen, but also within a lot of the other relationships that I have, like my best friend who I grew up with since I was three. She’s not into astrology and tarot. We have a shared connection of fun things that we like to do, like we like to go to plays, we like to go to movies, we like to go to concert. We share those experiences together. I think that everyone can find their footing too and find what works for them. And with relationships, it’s not one size fit all. Like don’t forget, you have the chance to create the type of relationship and love that you want.

That’s why it’s so confusing to people, because it’s different for everyone and it’s interesting because Venus is a planet that naturally is in the opposite orbit of Earth around the Sun. So by definition we don’t understand love. So we don’t understand the planet because it’s confusing to us.

It’s Uranus and Venus are the only two planets that move in the opposite orbit of Earth, it’s confusing to us, like people hate change, which is Uranus, and people can’t really understand. They hate having to grow and evolve. It’s a challenge for some people and also when it comes to love, it’s confusing because the planet just by definition is always opposite of, we’re always trying to understand it.

So sometimes I always say that maybe instead of trying to understand things as well, we can just do what feels right to us and really just do what makes us happy. If it lasts forever, if it lasts for a season, it lasts for a week. You did what you wanted to do and that’s all that matters.

Grace Duong: Yeah, I love that. I think that’s very wise to approach love in that way of just also feeling into that. It doesn’t always have to make sense. It doesn’t always have to amount to something.

Lisa Stardust: There’s still logic to anything. I mean, I always say sometimes like people, you’re confused by your feelings. Like I’m confused sometimes with the people. There are people who I have specific relationships with who I fight with them all the time, but I’m like, oh, but I love them. I don’t know why, but I care about them. I have a soft spot for them. It’s like you can’t understand why you feel the way that you feel sometimes. It’s just chemistry.

✨ Lisa’s Process in Creating the Love Deck

Grace Duong: Yeah. Yeah. So I have your Love deck here.

Lisa Stardust: Your auras, our auras, aligned.

Grace Duong: The auras aligned. And so I’d love to talk about your deck and your inspiration for the Love deck and what your process was in creating it.

Lisa Stardust: Sure. So when I created the Love deck, I wanted to basically create something that people can manifest self love and like I said before, I believe that true love starts with the self. And a lot of my clients at that time, and as always, were curious about relationships. So I thought, why don’t we make a deck where we can discuss how we can do affirmations to love ourselves. With crystals we can pick what will basically bring love to us or self love to us, or what journal prompts we can write that will help us basically understand our emotions and sentiments.

And I went through all the planets in love, all the signs in love in the deck, so it would have like an astrological understanding. Also, there were some magic spells in there. How to catch a new love, how to build confidence, how to cut the cord or let go of people. And for me it was, it was a journey that I was doing within myself too, because I was evolving and changing, and I was growing into being a more confident person.

And there’s a phrase that’s on a piece of jewelry by the jewelry company, Catbird, that says, radiant being worthy of love. So to me, when I was writing the stack, that look, that’s what kind of spoke to me, that we’re all radiant beings worthy of love.

Grace Duong: I love that. Oh my god, that’s gonna be my mantra today.

Lisa Stardust: It should be everyone’s mantra.

Grace Duong: Yes. Every day actually.

Lisa Stardust: That really was, I think like what kind of sparked a lot within myself.

Grace Duong: I love that.

✨ Collective Reading with Lisa’s “The Love Deck”

Grace Duong: So we are gonna do a collective card reading. I’m gonna shuffle and pull a card and Lisa is going to explain what it means. So, okay.

Lisa Stardust: Drum roll.

Grace Duong: Druuuum roll. Ooh.

Okay. I got Love Spells: Spark Chemistry.

Lisa Stardust: Spark Chemistry. So you can read the beginning prompts of that since you have it in your direct peripheral.

Grace Duong: Sure, absolutely!

Spark Chemistry. This spell can be performed to enhance sexual chemistry. Set the mood in your bedroom by dimming the lights, lighting some candles, and putting on soft music.

Invite your partner or love interest into the room and sit across from one another on the bed. Spend a few minutes gazing silently into each other’s eyes, meditating on your connection. Then write down something you desire from your partner on a piece of wish or parchment paper, and have them do the same.

When you’re ready, exchange your paper with your partner. See where the moment takes you after you can burn the paper in a cauldron by practicing fire safety tips…

Lisa Stardust: The fire safety tips. Very important there.

Grace Duong: Very important!

And bury the ashes in the earth or flush them down the toilet.

Lisa Stardust: Now, it’s interesting because part of this spell that I created, the beginning part was my dad’s girlfriend at the time. She was into Tantra, she’s an acupuncturist and she was a tantric healer. My dad and her did a video for her website and they’re staring into each other’s eyes and yes, it’s kind of weird to see your dad and his girlfriend doing that, but it was like to me, wow, like that’s so intimate. They’re really intensely looking at each other and they’re not gazing away.

So to me, I think that, and also from cuddle parties that I would in New York City that they have where you cuddle with strangers or even your partners, and it’s just to increase intimacy. I think there’s something intimate about connecting with someone on a physical level and gazing into their eyes and seeing the eyes are the windows to the soul. And to really have that deep connection is really beautiful. Also, if you’re doing sex magic, this is part of the sex magic spell, you wanna like be at one with your partner because energy that they have can give you energy. It can create excitement within your yourself. That’s what we’re here for. Energy feeds off of energy. Your souls are connecting, your auras are joining, you’re rubbing your auras off each other, and when they say that sexually and magic sexually, that when you have sex with someone, you’re psychically connected to them until you cut the cord.

There is something really powerful to that, I think. Yes. So if you’re looking to connect with someone on the Friday night or on a weekday try, it’d be really nice to see what would happen if you try it during the Full Moon or a New Moon, you know? Just to create more intense electric passion.

Grace Duong: Absolutely. So yeah, make sure to check out Lisa’s deck for more love spells, meditations, but also I’m seeing like signs in love, crystals with love, for love, love chakras. Yeah, so there’s so many goodies in here to explore your relationship to love.

I also, so last question. What is sex magic and how can one use it?

Lisa Stardust: I’ve written a few articles in sex magic. I wrote one for Teen Vogue that you can look up. I’ve written a few. I wrote one for a Sex Ed podcast, which is by my good friend Liz Goldwin, who’s a sex advocate.

Sex magic comes from the belief that are the juices that we produce when we’re orgasming, they give us power. So you can do it solo or with a partner. Like if you’re going to drink your partner’s juices, let’s just say hypothetically, you’re basically taking power from them and they’re becoming a part of you. So also they say that when you’re orgasming, it’s a great way to set intentions because you’re putting a lot of power behind the intention and an orgasm is like, the intention is subconsciously coming into play within your mind because it’s associating it with the magical release that’s very enjoyable.

Grace Duong: Yeah. Love that. Yeah, it’s also like the height of whatever magnetic field you’re producing.

Lisa Stardust: Yes, basically.

Grace Duong: So I feel like that’s like a really great way to attract as well. So thank you so much, Lisa, for your time today. This was so insightful and I feel like anyone listening will learn about love, and themselves, and sex magic, and how to invoke more love into their lives.

Lisa Stardust: Yeah. Thank you so much for having me. Always a pleasure talking with you and connecting with you.

Grace Duong: Yeah.

✨ End of episode – remember to leave a podcast review on Apple Podcasts!

Grace Duong: Thanks so much for tuning in to today’s episode with Lisa Stardust! Love is always such an interesting topic, and I’m glad Lisa was able to walk us through the themes of the Lovers tarot card, as well as her experience with the topic of love through the lens of an astrologer.

As a reminder, you can win Lisa Stardust’s Love deck, which has 70 cards designed to enhance your love life, promote attraction and boost connection. There will be three winners and you can enter by leaving a podcast review on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. Also follow us on social media for the full details. Links will be in the show notes.

As always, sending you so much Grace today and every day.

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